I posted a "gentle heads-up" on my Facebook page to announce that I'm slowly weeding out "friends" I don't know or at least have some connection with. As I put it:

"I joined fb four years ago and initially said yes to every request. But now I want to limit my 'friends' to those with whom I have some meaningful connection, either online or off."

Oops. Not clear enough. Three people I "know" immediately jumped on and commented that they understood "weeding out" and wouldn't mind if I took them off my list. (Can't bring myself to say "de-friend" - horrid expression.)

So what does "know" mean? I, er, "know" when I "don't know" someone. It means I see their profile pic and name and neither rings any bells. I draw a blank.

And truthfully, many of my fb friends are more "acquaintances" than friends. But that's OK. I "know" them. They may be a longtime newsletter subscriber, or we've interacted on Twitter or via a Facebook group or on this blog.

And of course many of my "friends" are people I've met and connected with IRL at a conference or other event. Obviously, I "know" them.

Can you help?? Without resorting to the definition of pornography (I "know" it when I see it), there must be a better way to explain what it means to "not know" someone. And thereby justify weeding out my "friends" list.

Yours in obfuscatory language,

- D

Note: this is crossposted over on my main blog. Please leave your comments there.

I've attended a handful of Seth's live events over the past decade (cf Why I like Seth Godin's quirky workshops from 2005) and always come away recharged. Today's was dubbed a practicum on the future of book publishing. It was held at the intimate Helen Mills Theatre on West 26th Street in New York and about 100 people attended, coming from as far away as Hawaii and Australia. It was great to reconnect with Pamela Redmond Satran (we hadn't seen each other in over 30 years) and John Moore of Brand Autopsy (he called The Corporate Blogging Book the Best Business Blogging Book). As well as meet Dave Kerpen, Susan Piver, Cynthia Louden, Cindy Praeger of Gazelles and others.

Seth has serious fans and they are often as inspiring as he is. That's why we're called a tribe. Every author and entrepreneur needs a tribe, BTW. More about that in another post.

Like his other events, I give today's an A. Not at A+ because that would be grade inflation. Seth, who has a keen interest in improving our educational system, doesn't believe in that sort of thing and I think he'll be happy with an A.

When I say recharged it’s not a hallelujah, everything is cool kind of feeling. It’s more that I’ve spent the day re-examining what I’m doing and why and peering into the abyss of possibility with Seth looking over my shoulder. Seth makes me think. And thinking, frankly, is hard work. I am a professional procrastinator and can spend an entire day putting off 20 minutes of writing. The urgent too often displaces the important. And like many entrepreneurs, I also don’t put aside enough time to think about my business.

Today was a chance to do that. And of course the start of a new year is a good time to question all your why's and what's. So I ask, am I a social media consultant? Groan. I am sick of that phrase. Am I someone who makes you think differently about how to communicate authentically with your customers? Through a blog, for example. That sounds better. So, yes.

But I’m more than that. I’m a speaker and an author and a publisher. And I have, over the past decade, created a permission asset (Seth’s phrase) of followers and fans and subscribers. This asset consists of close to 10,000 followers on Twitter, some 7,000 e-newsletter subscribers and about 5,000 blog readers, give or take.

One of the things that really hit home today, listening to Seth, is that I have seriously erred in how I have handled this asset recently. I have not paid enough attention to you. I have not been nearly consistent enough in delivering regular blog posts and e-newsletters. My promise is that I will change that in 2011.

I am not ready to make a specific promise (a new blog post every day or an e-newsletter every week, for example). I want to under promise and over deliver so I have to think through a few logistics. But stay tuned.

I’m writing (OK, rambling) as I ride the train back to DC through the snowy darkness. Hey, I can be as poetic as I want, right? It’s my blog. Click away quietly if you wish. But it would be more fun if you’d leave a comment below to say hi. I hope you are as excited about your new year as I am.

Get ready for some snark. When I watched Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s live streamed announcement of Facebook Messages yesterday I was struck by a couple of things: his presumptuousness, the insular feeling of the event and his lack of speaking ability. First, his presumptuousness: "Talking with high schoolers makes me feel really old," he told the audience in a San Francisco hotel. Tell me about it. Blogging about 26-year-olds makes me feel old.

But really… he and a team of 15 engineers spent 15 months developing Facebook Messages, partially based on Mark Z.'s conversations with his girlfriend's sister, who is in high school. I’d call that an “insular” development process, given Facebook’s 500 million users. It's an email system that is, wait, not an email system but if you want to use it that way you’ll have to use an @facebook.com email address and you won’t have subject lines for your messages because who cares about those anyway.

Are we being strangled by Facebook?

Facebook’s new system doesn’t replace email per se; it’s a “messaging experience” that combines email, texting, IMing and social media updates. OMG. Spare me. Am I the only person who is starting to feel strangled by Facebook’s increasing hold on my online experience. Are we all brainwashed?

It makes me want to run the other way. And it makes me wonder if others don’t feel the same way. I don’t want Mark Z. telling me how to handle my “messaging” (is this a new activity? Have to run and do my “messaging”). Facebook’s hold on our content is scary. They’ve got it all: words, pictures, links, videos. Yes, I know there’s now a way to download our data but I haven’t had time to check it out. Apparently it requires multiple steps.

Re public speaking, have you heard about Steve Jobs?

So I’ve covered presumptuous and insular. How about public speaking? You’d think Mark Z. (and his Facebook handlers) could afford the best in presentation training. Mark, you get points for smiling but other than that your presentation abilities are mediocre at best. In fact, listening to you makes me realize that I’m a pretty good speaker. (Read these spot-on speaking tips from Mitch Joel. I use them all myself.) BTW, have you heard about Steve Jobs? He also has a world stage everytime he speaks; i.e. everyone listens. But he takes advantage of it.

Oh, and about those high schoolers? I’m more than twice your age, Mark. And you make me feel wise, not old.

Snark rant over.

This is cross-posted on my blog at debbieweil.com.

Your sweet spot is where what YOU want to achieve using social media coincides with what your audience wants. It's not as easy to find this spot as you might think. Most organizations are engaging in one-way news-dispersing conversations on their Facebook pages. While they may get "Liked" a lot (which requires only a click), their social media content is not prompting fans to take a specific action or provide more substantive feedback .

As an example, Geoff Livingston wrote about the challenge faced by nonpartisan Common Cause when they tried to get feedback on their list of "core values." They were in the process of rewriting and updating their values for the advocacy group's 40th anniversary. Asking for "feedback" from their over 5,000 Facebook followers received a tepid response. What to do? Common Cause turned the request for feedback into a contest: write and submit a core value - to be named the 40th in honor of the anniversary. They received 1,200 submissions, chose five and had the community vote to select the winner. 

Lesson: your audience wants to be recognized and validated. They want to be part of a real (meaning two-way) conversation. If there is sufficient incentive, they will collaborate and even create content for you. Then they want to be able to broadcast their contribution to their own followers on Twitter or Facebook and to be recognized as smart or clever or funny - even if they are not the ultimate winner. Hence the importance of incorporating "Tweet this" and "like" buttons as well as sharing apps like AddThis.

The Pepsi Refresh campaign nailed this particular sweet spot. On one side is the chance for content creation (a substantive proposal to improve your real-life community), recognition, validation, publicity, promotion and -  possibly - a cash award. On Pepsi's side is credit for being socially responsible, enhanced brand awareness and a savings of $20M or so not spent on Super Bowl ads.

Unfortunately, there is no magic formula for what will make members of your community take an action that meets your business goals. Note that producing an outcome using social media is several steps beyond "engagement." My advice: tread lightly if you're just getting started with a Facebook page or a blog. See what your fans and readers respond to. Deliver valuable content (an e-book filled with useful tips, a discount coupon). Then use creativity and persistence to find a sweet spot where what you want (related to revenue generation) meshes with what they want (the chance to be validated and recognized and to do something meaningful).

 

Experimenting with Amazon's Carousel book widget. Fun.

Here's why: Seth Godin is coming to town for a rare live seminar in DC on July 22, 2010. And his army of local fans is rumbling and ready.

I'm hosting a Midsummer Madness edition of Sweets and Tweets (only $5) on July 21st, the day before his seminar, from 8 - 9 PM. It's at the very cool Baked and Wired in DC's Georgetown. We'll raise a cupcake to Seth.  And some attendees are stepping up to the mic to talk about Linchpins and Lizard Brains. More on that below.

I'm a huge Seth fan and am unabashed about saying so. I've known Seth for years, before he became "really famous," in fact. He's a lovely guy. In addition to being brilliant and consistently provocative, he is generous and fair-minded. He kindly wrote a "blurb" for the jacket cover of my book, THE CORPORATE BLOGGING BOOK. And, through his blog and his books, has quietly, persistently challenged me - and millions of others (his blog is ranked #1 in the world by Technorati) - to think bigger and to think about making a difference.

Five years ago, I attended one of his New York City workshops. It was in a funky walk-up loft in Chinatown, a perfect setting for his informal, in-your-face presentations. (He served weird vegetarian snacks, which seemed very daring at the time.) He doesn't pull punches. And if he thinks you're being boring or uninteresting, he will say so. Politely.

At any rate, I introduced myself and said I wasn't sure what my "brand" was. He took one look at me and said, "Oh, you should be the Mona Lisa of Blogging." I tried that for a while. It didn't really stick but a cute idea nonetheless.

So here comes Seth to Washington DC after publishing another half dozen New York Times bestselling books. I think his latest, LINCHPIN, is his best. He nails a number of provocative, unsettling ideas in LINCHPIN. One is something he calls the Lizard Brain.

After reading his book, I explain it this way: The lizard brain is the primitive, limbic system that overrides everything else in our brain: it is fear, sex, hunger, etc. Especially fear.

And for many of us, myself included, it's what prevents us from blogging more, writing a new preface, updating a book, crafting a new presentation, etc.

In a word, you have to push through the resistance to defeat your lizard brain and get things done. Shipping, Seth calls it. Just do it. Ship it.

Linchpins - the flip side of the Lizard Brain, as it were - are people who make themselves indispensable in their organization, who don't wait to be told what to do and who approach their work as if it were "art," a passion and a creative endeavor as opposed to, well, work. And of course they get things done.

Join us to raise a cupcake to Seth on July 21st

If you're in DC and reading this I hope you'll come to my pre-Seth event and raise a cupcake to Seth along with some of DC's finest digerati. Those $5 Midsummer Madness tickets are going fast. Sign up here.

 

Most serious writers swear by a routine of writing first thing in the morning. Prolific author and blogger Seth Godin says he has had "ADD his whole life" but he prefers to "enjoy the day first" and then "write whenever writing helps me enjoy the day more." Hmm... Me thinks he is teasing his interviewer, Scott Scheper, with that statement. What do you think?

Interview with Seth Godin on Life and Linchpins by Scott Scheper

Image is a snip from Seth's new minimalist home page.

Local gardening blogger Susan Harris contacted me to say she - and other DC area bloggers - are up in arms over the decision of the Metropolitan Washington Council of Governments to hire a Florida garden blogger to write the new Metro DC Lawn and Garden Blog.

I have two reactions. First, congrats to the Metro Washington Council of Governments for having the energy and foresight to create a blog for local gardeners. There are lots of us, whether we're tending to lavish yards or just a few pots on the front steps. And with Washington's wilting heat and winter freezing, we have plenty of questions.

Second, shame on the Metro Council for not looking in their, er, back yard before hiring a blogger. Apparently, they advertised on ProBlogger's job board and thus found the Florida-based writer Betsy Franz. Susan points out that it's not hard to find local garden writing talent through magazines like Washington Gardener (which has a corresponding listserv on Yahoo groups).

Ouch.

After last week's amazing Digital Capital Week, it's difficult to understand how anyone could overlook the breadth and depth of digital talent here in the DC area. I don't want to get into the specifics of evaluating the bona fides of garden bloggers (I don't have the chops to do that) but this is an obvious case of not listening locally before launching a local blog.

I checked the mission of the blog to make sure the focus is truly local. It is:

"Welcome to the Metro DC Lawn and Garden Blog — your source for all things green in Washington, DC and surrounding areas. If you’re looking to swap tips, share stories, have more fun, and take better care of your lawn and garden, then you’ve come to the right place!"

I'd be interested to hear what the thinking was behind staffing up this new blog with an out-of-stater.